By Jean Cabot<\/p>\n
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SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks SM for companionship, romance. Only serious responses. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx<\/tt><\/p>\n
“Hey! I saw your ad and I think I’m just the guy for you. I can take you places you’ve never been and we can dance among the stars!”<\/p>\n
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SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks SM for companionship, romance. Only serious responses. NO SPACE COWBOYS. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx<\/tt><\/p>\n
“Greetings, my lady! I’ve long been seeking one such as you and I believe fate hath brought us together! Truly you are part of my destiny.”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks SM for companionship, romance. Only serious responses. NO SPACE COWBOYS<\/tt> OR LOST PRINCES. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx<\/tt><\/p>\n
“Hi! You’re a modern lady and I am a SUPER modern guy. Wanna get a little old-fashioned? I’ve got a machine that’ll blow your mind.”<\/p>\n
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SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks SM for companionship, romance. Only serious responses. NO SPACE COWBOYS<\/tt>, LOST PRINCES, OR TIME TRAVELERS. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx<\/tt><\/p>\n
“Just thinking of you makes me wanna howl. I think we should go for a run sometime. Bring tennis balls.”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks SM for companionship, romance. Only serious responses. NO SPACE COWBOYS<\/tt>, LOST PRINCES, TIME TRAVELERS, OR WEREWOLVES. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx<\/tt><\/p>\n
“I have very… singular desires. You shall fulfill them.”<\/p>\n
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SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks SM for companionship, romance. Only serious responses. NO SPACE COWBOYS<\/tt>, LOST PRINCES, TIME TRAVELERS, WEREWOLVES, OR BILLIONAIRE WEIRDOS. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx<\/tt><\/p>\n
“I’m on my way to the rainforest to check out these old ruins. You said you liked adventures, so why not?”<\/p>\n
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SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks SM for companionship, romance. Only serious responses. NO SPACE COWBOYS<\/tt>, LOST PRINCES, TIME TRAVELERS, WEREWOLVES, BILLIONAIRE WEIRDOS, OR WHATEVER THE HELL STEALS HOLY RELICS FROM INDIGENOUS PEOPLE. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx<\/tt><\/p>\n
“Hello fellow human, I’m Mike. Your ad is very intriguing. I would like to get to know you more. In a fashion that is normal to our culture that involves touching skin which I have.”<\/p>\n
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SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks SM for companionship, romance. Only serious responses. NO SPACE COWBOYS<\/tt>, LOST PRINCES, TIME TRAVELERS, WEREWOLVES, BILLIONAIRE WEIRDOS, WHATEVER THE HELL STEALS HOLY RELICS FROM INDIGENOUS PEOPLE, OR ROBOTS. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx<\/tt><\/p>\n
“I come in peace. If you know what I mean.”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
SBF hates all of you, including: SPACE COWBOYS<\/tt>, LOST PRINCES, TIME TRAVELERS, WEREWOLVES, BILLIONAIRE WEIRDOS, WHATEVER THE HELL STEALS HOLY RELICS FROM INDIGENOUS PEOPLE, ROBOTS, AND ALIENS. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx<\/tt><\/p>\n
“Not really sure if, like, that last thing was an ad or a threat, but I’m none of those, so I figured I’d try! I’m the kind of guy who’ll be by your side on your adventures (or just your hikes). My friends say I’m loyal and kind of goofy, so if that’s a combo that appeals to you, how about we get some coffee?<\/p>\n
– Jake.”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
“Sure. Life is short.<\/p>\n
– Alina”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Jean Cabot SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks SM for companionship, romance. Only serious responses. Contact me at xxxx@xxxx.xxx “Hey! I saw your ad and I think I’m just the guy for you. I can take you places you’ve never been and we can dance among the stars!” SBF enjoys hiking, adventure, seeks […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":9,"menu_order":2,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-75","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hamsterbandit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/75","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hamsterbandit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hamsterbandit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamsterbandit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamsterbandit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=75"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/hamsterbandit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/75\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":80,"href":"https:\/\/hamsterbandit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/75\/revisions\/80"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hamsterbandit.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hamsterbandit.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=75"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}